Just In Case You're Wondering...

I have added in all my blog post from Carly's blog to Hannah's blog. Call me weird but I kinda feel bad about writing more on Hannah's blog than Carly's. So in order to fix this I have just mixed them together. I'll also change the name of the blog to just My Angels In Heaven. I'm going to post on Carly's blog about this change and leave it up for those to see. I just won't be writing over there anymore. From now on it will just be here.

Now this blog will contain things about both of my girls, my life, and hopefully in the future months it will contain another pregnancy and a healthy baby.

Sorry for any confusion this may cause anyone but this makes me feel better, like I'm not leaving one of my girls out or showing one space more attention.

I had A Dream Of You Last Night! (Carly)

You came to me in my dreams last night. Thank You! I needed that! You were small for a while in my dreams. I kept you turned from your left and right side just as if you were still in your isollette in the hospital all except you were home. Then soon you were grown. You were about the size you should be now if you were still here with me. You were walking and learning to talk. I asked you who the man in the bed was and you said pawpaw as you laid your innocent head on my dads arms to show him love. You made me so happy in my dreams last night. I remember crying but I know that they were happy tears. We walked and you showed off the new words you were learning. You had light brown curly hair. You had the most lovely heart and was just so loving.

I love you baby girl. Come see me again in my dreams, I really enjoy it!

Till we meet again....

Love MOM

I had A Dream Of You Last Night!

You came to me in my dreams last night. Thank You! I needed that! You were small for a while in my dreams. I kept you turned from your left and right side just as if you were still in your isollette in the hospital all except you were home. Then soon you were grown. You were about the size you should be now if you were still here with me. You were walking and learning to talk. I asked you who the man in the bed was and you said pawpaw as you laid your innocent head on my dads arms to show him love. You made me so happy in my dreams last night. I remember crying but I know that they were happy tears. We walked and you showed off the new words you were learning. You had light brown curly hair. You had the most lovely heart and was just so loving.

I love you baby girl. Come see me again in my dreams, I really enjoy it!

Till we meet again....

Love MOM

PLEASE HELP MY FRIEND!!!!

Carly, is a young woman who has a big heart for helping others. She lost her son Christian a couple of years ago. Since, she has been taking her time to write names in the sand of babies who have passed away for bereaved mothers just like herself. After I lost Carly and Hannah, Carly wrote their names in the sand for me and gave me their pics. It's such a sweet reminder of my girls. Carly does this for thousands of people. It's a full time job for her and she doesn't make a penny.

Carly has entered a contest through Cannon to win a new camera and to also win $60,000 to go to a charity of her choice. She has decided to donate this money to SIDS and Kids Australia. Please take your time to read about her and this contest she has entered. I'll post a link below to her blog. In her blog you will see a link to vote to help er raise money for this charity and to help her get a new camera so she can continue taking pics for these bereaved parents.

Here is here post..........

Tonight I am asking for your help on something. Canon.com have a competition on at the moment called Creative For A Cause.

In their own words "A single photograph can represent the voices of a hundred, thousand or even a million people"

Canon are looking for one photograph. The photograph that receives the most amount of votes will win $60 000 to go to their favorite charity. The photographer will also win a Canon package for themselves.

I have entered this competition and if Christian's photo is the winner I have chosen SIDS and Kids Australia as my award recipient. I will be honest in saying that having the benefit of a brand new professional camera would be such a treat for the evenings I spend at the beach!

So please if you have the time visit this link and vote for Christian's photo in memory of all children lost too soon. We believe this one photo doesn't just represent Christian, but all his other friends too.

Thank You Thank You Thank You!


Here's the link to her post so you can click the link to vote for her.

http://scarletriver26.blogspot.com/2009/06/vote-for-christian.html

The Smell Of Shampoo (Hannah)

WOW! Who would have ever thought the smell of shampoo could bring back such vivid memories?

I got this morning just like any other day. I cleaned the house and did laundry as Ryan worked in the yard trimming the bushes and blowing off the driveway. I needed to shower before we went out to eat and to a movie. We were out of shampoo and conditioner so I asked Ryan to run to the store and pick some up for me. He asked me if it mattered what kind and I said no. He always ask because I like to change my shampoo often. If I don't change it my hair tends to be oily. Ryan comes home and hands me a bag with shampoo and conditioner in it. I pulled out 2 bottles of Pantene Pro-V and headed to the shower. As the water got warm I got ready. I got in the shower and started my normal routine. I wet my hair first and poured shampoo into my hand. I lathered up my hair like normal and all of a sudden this sense came over me. Kinda like a memory, but really hard to put my finger on exactly how it felt. I was smelling this shampoo, it was a strong beautiful smell. Thoughts of Hannah's pregnancy washed over me with such a quickness. I felt refreshed, I felt free, I had this sense of peace wash through my whole body down to my soul. I could remember what it felt like to hold my belly with her and how it felt to anticipate her arrival. I smelled it, I smelled Hannah. It wasn't until I started to smell the shampoo that I realized I hadn't used this particular shampoo since I was pregnant with Hannah. It brought on so many emotions. I felt more happy than sad. It was almost as if she was here saying, "It's ok, remember me now. Remember me how it was when you were happy and expecting me."

Who would have ever though a normal routine of shampooing my hair could do this to my soul! I felt as if I was being embraced by her presence.

WOW! What A Shocker!

Well today my mom was scheduled to have a hysterectomy. Well, sorta, more like a laser removing the lining of her uterus. She went in and had all the prep work done. She was taken to the OR and put to sleep. Her husband and her MIL went with her so she could have someone drive her back home once everything was finished.

I called my mom to check on her and see how everything went and how she was feeling. They were just pulling out of the hospital when I called. She said she was fine and only in a little pain but went on to tell me they couldn't preform the procedure. They did however do a DNC. You'll never believe why they couldn't do it. She too has a bicornuate uterus with a septum! This is the exact same thing I have. It's like a heart shaped uterus with a wall down the middle. I have read a lot online about BU and SU that cause birth defects, stillbirths, IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction) and so on and so forth. Anyhow, since all my test have come back giving no clue as to why I've all these problems with pregnancy I could only think that my mis-shaped uterus was the cause of all my problems. Now, granted it very well may BE the cause, BUT my mom had 3 FULL-TERM pregnancies with no problems and never has any miscarriages. So there IS hope that I may still carry a full-term pregnancy. But now I've began to wonder is there an underlying condition that the doctors are looking over? If so what could it be and where would I start to look to figure it out? Well, all I can do it lay it unto the Lord's feet and just have faith that He will bless our marriage with a child.

On another note, my mom is going back to see her doctor in 2 weeks to talk about having a hysterectomy where they only take her uterus and leave her ovaries. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers in the weeks to come.

I Swear I'm Still Alive!

WOW! Sorry it's been such a long time since my last post. We did go on vacation to the Florida Keys. We stayed for a week and had a blast. We also visited Miami and Fort Myers while we were gone. I went skydiving at Miami Skydiving Center. It's was great! It was an experience of a lifetime! I plan on going to the Blue Ridge mountains and doing it again there. I know the view there will be breathtaking.

I've been working a lot and trying to keep myself busy. We are about to start a memorial garden in the back yard in memory of our daughters. I'll will post more about this later along with some before pics and pics while it's being created. I know it's going to be beautiful. Our daughters are buried more than 30mins away and it's hard to go there often. This will be a great place for us to think of them and it will be right out our back door.

Staying busy is kinda hard when all that's on my mind is having a family. I would love nothing more than to be pregnant right now, but Ryan wants us to wait. We have decided to try again in December of this year. It seems like it will NEVER get here. So just keep us in your thoughts and prayers and pray that when we do actually start TTC that God will bless us with a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child that I can deliver at term and that we can actually bring home to love and take care of. Another pregnancy is going to be beyond stressful so I plan on quitting my job the second I find out and staying home and just take care of myself without the added stress of work.

Well I know it was short but at least it was something. I'm headed off t spend some time with my hubby. Till next time...

I almost forgot! I wanted to show you my skydiving video. I actually played it on my computer and filmed it with my camera because I don't have any DVD ripper software. So it's not as sharp as the original but it's still ok. ENJOY!!

Now don't laugh at me, I HATE talking to a camera, I feel like such a dork! LOL