Update on Loren and Her Baby Evan

They are awaiting discharge papers now! Evan is going home today. He weighs 4 pounds 3 ounces right now. Loren is beyond excited to be bring her new baby boy home to start their family. Thank you all so much for your prayers during this time.

When Your Worst Fears are Realized

I read this on Proverbs 31 Ministries . I think this is a great web site and has tons of daily devotions. All of these things on this site remain true and I see how they fit my everyday life. I read this one today and wanted to share it with everyone.



When Your Worst Fears are Realized
Marybeth Whalen

“You came near when I called you, and you said, ‘Do not fear.’” Lamentations 3:57 (NIV)

All my life, I had two very real fears: that I would have a child with a birth defect, and that my marriage would break up. Even before I was married, I worried about how I would handle these things if they happened. Perhaps that seems silly to some, but some of you might know exactly what I am talking about. Your fears are always lurking, taunting you with their possibility.

In Isaiah, God told Hezekiah of the impending exile of his descendants to Babylon, but assured him he would already be dead by the time this happened. In our humanness, we can identify with Hezekiah when he thought with relief, “At least there will be peace and security during my lifetime” (Isaiah 39:6-8, NLT). That was Hezekiah’s fear talking—fear that something terrible like that would happen in his lifetime. And what a loud voice fear can have. Sometimes it can even overpower the voice of God as He lovingly reassures us of His nearness.

As you can probably guess, my two worst fears were realized. My third child was born with a severe birth defect that kept him hospitalized for months, then with full-time nursing care when he was home. He was dependent on a trach and a g-tube just to live. I had entered a world I knew nothing about, the very world I had feared all my life. Later on, in the aftermath of our son’s birth, my marriage also fell apart. The years of struggle and financial stress took their toll and left my husband and I virtual strangers. We would have to fight to save our wrecked marriage. I was living my worst nightmare.

But I was living.

I learned in the midst of our struggles that our verse today is so true. God does draw near to us in the midst of our worst fears. Even as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death—the death of a loved one, the death of our dreams, the death of a marriage—He is with us, just as He promised. Not only is He near us, He is working things out, growing our faith and our character as we wrestle with our fears and learn to accept His will. While we can’t understand why He allows our fears to materialize, we later realize that we have come to know Him in a whole new way through them. He is our reward for persevering.

I know that, for me, I have come to appreciate what I went through and, while I would never choose to go through it again, I also am grateful (yes, grateful) for what God birthed within me as I lived out my worst fears. I learned that in our struggles we will see Him. In our trials we will learn to trust Him. And in our fears we will come to a new level of faith.

Dear Lord, Help me to trust in You even as my fears are realized. Help me to hear Your voice telling me that You are with me, and that I don’t need to be afraid. Help me to feel your nearness. Most of all, Lord, help me to see Your purpose for me even as I am walking through trials. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Update On Loren

Loren delivered her baby boy via c-section today. He weighed 4 pounds 9 ounces and 17 inches long. He's in the NICU right now on a vent. He had some fluid on his lungs. He has also had a feeding tube placed. As far as I know Loren has yet to seen Evan yet. She's doing ok but this was VERY unexpected for her and her husband. Please keep Loren and Evan in your prayers. I'll update again as soon as I know more.

Prayers For Loren

My friend Loren is 34 weeks pregnant and has had preeclampsia for about 2 weeks now. She's finally been admitted to the hospital and is going to have a c-section in a matter of hours. She is so scard right now. Please keep her and her baby boy Evan in your prayers.

Baby Shower Time!

Leelou a friend who has help me and other friends of mine is pregnant. She is having a virtual baby shower. She would love it if you could attend. Lets make this the biggest virtual baby shower ever! Click on the link below to see how this works. The second button below will take you to Leelou's blog where you too can get a button and add it to your blogg so this can reach as many people as possible! Thanks everyone, lets make this a very special day for her!

A Sneak Peek!

Here's a sneak peek of what's to come. I'm posting pics of my wedding gown when I was trying it on at the bridal shop. I love the dress. It is more elegant than most that I seen and I'm not too much on all the puffy styles out there. I know that's just a matter of opinion though. Hope you like it. Oh and I'm also going to post pics of my new wedding band. I'm actually going back to buy another just like it because I think it will look so pretty with the band on both sides of my engagement ring.

Oh yeah and one more thing before I get on with the pics. I have got down to 120 pounds!!! I was 158 when I delivered Hannah, and 126 when I became pregnant with her. I was 113 when I got pregnant with my 1st daughter Carly, so I'm not too far away from that. My goal is 110, so hopefully in about 2 months I'll have met my goal. I'm not trying to lose anymore before the wedding because I only want to have my dress altered once!

WOW! It's Been A Long Time!

It's been a while since I've posted on here. Well it's a new year, and I have to say the past year has defiantly been rough. First in November 2007 I delivered my first daughter Carly 12 weeks premature. We were in the NICU for 4 long months. We had many ups and downs, but we managed to enjoy every second we got with her. In March of 2008 Carly suddenly passed away from a heart defect. This was such a hard time as we thought she would be coming home soon. We had just had a meeting 3 days prior talking about her coming home. Well only 2 weeks after Carly passed away my little brother was in a severe car accident. He drove a mustang convertible. When her wrecked his car flipped and tossed him 40 feet across the street and landed him in a small creek. He was found by the EMT in a coma. He was rushed to a local hospital to be treated. The local hospital was unable to care for his level of injury, and he was air lifted to Carolina's Medical Center. He was in the neurosurgical intensive care unit for about 3 weeks where he remained in a coma. He was eventually moved to rehab where he finished out his 2 month stay in the hospital. He had to learn how to walk again, talk again, think again, and even had to learn how to eat again. At first the doctors weren't sure if he would even survive. And then when they thought that he would they said that he would have to have 24 hour 7 day a week nursing care. Well God truly had his hand on Josh. He's walking, talking and just being Josh again. He still has problems with his memory but he's getting back to his normal self. Well 2 weeks after Josh had his wreck I became pregnant again. You all know about my pregnancy. You all know how it ended with Hannah's stillbirth at 32 weeks. Yet another bump in the road I travel. Well I have to say that God has truly carried me through this past year. He's given me all the strength and courage to carry on. Having this preemie clothing drive in Carly's memory has really helped me with dealing with my daughters death.

I'm finally back in school. I've been in school since 2006 part time working on my nursing degree. I never really knew what field of nursing I wanted to go into until I delivered Carly. Now I know that I want to and feel lead to be a NICU nurse. So I'm back in school and it's still part time. But soon enough I will reach my goal. I know it will be a full filling career. I really look forward to working with premature babies in the future.

Now for some more news. I got Hannah's autopsy back a few weeks ago. The cause of death came back undetermined. That was heartbreaking to hear. I was really hoping for some answers. Well the more I search and look over things I found out I had the same infection in my placenta with Hannah as I had with Carly. I also found links online linking this infection to stillbirths. So I'm hoping to go back to my MFM soon and talk these things over and see if there is anything we can do to possibly have the chance of having another baby but healthy. So everyone please pray that something can be figured out.

Last but not least, Ryan and I have set a date to get married. After being together for nearly 6 years we are finally getting married on the 14th of February. This was short notice decision that we made but it will be sweet and simple. I'm so glad to be moving forward. We've been in counseling still yet and are learning to love each other on a whole new level.

Well to everyone who reads this I wish you all a very happy and blessed new year.

Rachel